feltloss.

TOUCH IS TOO heavy against his bones , torn up from the core of conditioned layers like roots ; dirtied & splintered from where he buried them DEEP . & anakin is a collision , a tectonic shift that tears him from gravity . or perhaps it is grief – perhaps he’s combined the two . but in the breaks it all leaves , the magma can well to the cracks .

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        DO NOT DICTATE how i bleed , Anakin . or how I break .               HE PLUCKS ANGER from his teeth like ruined pulp ; it sticking to his tongue & to every word that follows . 

        of EVERYTHING i’ve lost , do not take my mourning from me .               he shakes from the pull , from the hand that would push him back in alignment when he aches to run CROOKED ; if only for a moment

     ❝ BUT I’M NOT allowed to be worried about you?! ❞ His own voice, hoarse && pressured, like a thing he no longer owns. Every word precise, straddling the line between a sob && a scream

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     ❝ Don’t hide from me, Obi-Wan. I saw how much the Duchess meant to you. Let me— I want to—- ❞ Rough words to expose a snarl of feelings — disjointed, but still coming clear.

               Anakin raises his fists, unsure of what to do with his hands. There are so many unspoken boundaries between the two of them, he never knows how far their friendship extends. Is it even appropriate for him to demand Obi-Wan’s honesty when he himself has denied his former master the same respect so many times before?

               When did they stop confiding in each other? 

     ❝ Forget it. I don’t know why I bothered. ❞

 
independent & private roleplay blog for anakin skywalker/darth vader of all star wars media. written by scout. || est. feb 2016.