feltloss.

THIS FIRE IS familiar as it swallows him whole ; all too suddenly he’s reminded what it feels like for a star to collapse . it shouldn’t be surprising , as he can count the black holes left behind from all the years before . they still swirl inside him , somewhere deep in hollow spaces . what you feed will always come back to you , & he has been generous with the pieces of himself . 

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         HIDE ? tell me Anakin , how i hide from you ; when i have given you everything but my breath . when it’s you , that keeps secrets from even yourself .             he crosses a line ; grinds it into the ground & blows the dust away along with the voice in the back of his mind telling him to stop , not anakin . never anakin . he cannot begrudge him his secrets , when ANAKIN HIMSELF is his greatest one .  but his palms still break under the slash of his nails ; a last ditch effort to keep his hands from anakin’s skin

‘         IF YOU KNOW how much she meant to me then let me keep her in silence - until I can let her go .         

SOMEWHERE along the line , he realizes this is no longer about her

               OBI-WAN’S SIDELONG glare crawls over his skin like a slender heatray, focusing his anger anew. He stalks forward, closing the distance between them until he can back the elder man up against the nearest wall

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     ❝ This isn’t about me. ❞ He tilts his head back slightly, something untame && unsteady in his eyes. A strange, feral kind of satisfaction. So this is what it takes to topple the Negotiator’s ever-famous composure. Maul only had to snap one loose thread to unravel an entire tapestry of insecurities && buried compulsions. The wild flame hidden at the center of the man, threatening immolation with every heartbeat. 

               It feels good to know he’s not the only one burning. 

       Anakin slides even closer, extending his hands && shoving Obi-Wan backwards by the shoulders.

     ❝ This isn’t about my secrets, this is about you lying to me—- pretending like her death doesn’t affect you doesn’t make it go away! I want you to trust me — I want you care— ❞ His voice cracks on the last syllable, a shift in the mutual pretense that exposes all the ragged seams of their relationship; patched together too often to take much strain. 

 
independent & private roleplay blog for anakin skywalker/darth vader of all star wars media. written by scout. || est. feb 2016.