feltloss.

THE WALL BITES deep against his edges ; & there he can feel the roll of a bruise slip over the blades at the press , can feel the ache of it lodged in his throat but it only tastes like empty air — he’s caged in , the animal in him left with nowhere to go but recklessly forward , somehow still always towards Anakin .

the cracking shift in his shoulder as he hikes it back is louder than his heartbeat , but the cut of his knuckles along the hinge of Anakin’s jaw ( sharp & tight – like a paper-fold spine ) makes no sound at all . ringing as hollow as he feels . there’s empty space for an apology , but he swallows it down . 

        my pretending only means i’ve cared too much .             his voice has never sounded so small , even despite the loudness of his anger .              for Satine         for you .         

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perhaps losing them all has been his consequence . perhaps keeping Anakin so close & yet so far away will be another . & still …

when he pulls anakin in ; when he takes his hair in his fingers & thumbs harsh across the tender , red mess he’s left —- when he kisses him , he can taste them: consequences . & doesn’t know why he took the bite .  but it’s the closest to the sun he’s ever been , right here , & he fears their bond might burn away from the fire .

               THE FORCE BEHIND the fist is strong enough to fracture any other man’s jaw. But Anakin can sense the bare knuckles sliding towards him even before impact, && twists his head back just enough to minimize the damage. Even so, it sends him stumbling, struggling for comprehension of the sharp point of pain that blooms in its wake. 

               It moves earthquakes in him, a seismic rhythm as unsteady as his heartbeat. Fingers absently trail across the aching twang in his jawline, trying to process the fact that Obi-Wan, his master, had just hurt him—-

               But you hurt him first

               He flails against the same hands that’d hurt him when they move to frame his face; but the firm press of the other man’s lips against his own drains the fight from him in an instant. 

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              He opens his mouth, perhaps to protest && perhaps to deepen the kiss. Whatever the reason, its original intent is lost to the surprised moan he can’t seem to swallow fast enough. 

 
independent & private roleplay blog for anakin skywalker/darth vader of all star wars media. written by scout. || est. feb 2016.