astramajestic.

          child. singular. at the same moment his oppressive presence in the force is bearing down on her shoulders and making it harder to draw breath she can feel the spark on hope. which one is he aware of? surely, it must be luke then? she has to hope that alderaan wouldn’t have happened if he had realized it was his daughter who called the planet home but at the SAME TIME ryoo thinks he could justify it in the knowledge that they had hidden her from him for so many years.

          there’s a pause and she makes to take a step forward    ——   staggering uneasily, and has to brace one hand against the air before her so she can keep her footing. she’s not sure how much was her own unease at being near someone so used to making their emotions felt and how much was the way the muscles had locked to iron around steel bones. he was the machine but she felt mechanical as she had to consign, with some part of her mind, that there be no saving him, as much as she wants it. the attempt had nearly killed her before, but this half-life… she could cope with it’s loss.

          “is any part of you still there?”           she forces herself, as much as she can, to the accent of days long gone. naboo, with touches of courscant, full sounds, enunciation, no clipping on the words. it’s like trying on a dress to find it doesn’t quite fit anymore unless she sucks in every last breath. ryoo wonders if he loves her, or if this deception makes her worthy of hate that he might feel. that she’d honestly understand in this circumstance.

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         “you, being the boy i loved? or did our beloved emperor sell that too when he convinced you to sell your soul?   ——”       her tongue is too thick for the fine workings of words and she stumbles on the easiest syllables, language is a cobbled together, incongruous·thing. she braces for him to say none of who he was remains. she can BELIEVE it.      “——   anakin, vader, whoever, whatever. if it’s the last truth i tell you, i don’t know where our son is. and if i did i’d die before taking you to him, at least like this. ransoming me won’t work either. HE DOESN’T KNOW about me,”      neither·of them do.

               IS THERE ANY part of you still there?

               A memory materializes against his own volition, reality splintering into countless disconnected fragments, liberating the shadow core of loss of his younger self that had been buried. Back when they had just been two bodies pouring softness into the other’s mouth, when his nights alone had been spent chasing the taste of her from his tongue like wine

             I thought we had decided not to fall in love.
             Is there any part of you still there?

              Vader barely remembers the feel of her lips against his skin, but his body aches for it all the same, like a phantom limb. Their love had left him incoherent, lost to passion && paranoia && the weakness of unmitigated youth. Anakin Skywalker had died the day Padme Amidala did. But she isn’t dead, so what does that make of Anakin Skywalker?

     ❝ Anakin Skywalker was weak. I destroyed him. ❞ When I destroyed everything else. The line tastes like ash in his ruined mouth, a broken benediction to keep the dead in their graves. He cannot be who she wants him to be, he never could. But still the ice in him has begun to thaw, a spark lit by the survival of his son. A reason to struggle against the bonds he’d grown so used to bearing. Here again is a sun on the verge of an eclipse. His Force presence begins to radiate a heat meant to meld && fasten her to him like fire with metal, like she’d once been. 

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     ❝ It is of no matter. I do. ❞ He watches her reaction carefully, scouting for signifiers of surprise or resignation. ❝ I will train the boy the ways of the Sith, && together we will overthrow the Emperor && take the galaxy for ourselves. ❞ Vader brings his clenched fist before him, a physical manifestation of his resolve. ❝ Join me, Padme— ❞ to speak her name with this voice sounds like sacrilege, ❝ —you do not have to run any longer. ❞

 
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independent & private roleplay blog for anakin skywalker/darth vader of all star wars media. written by scout. || est. feb 2016.