THE PLACES ANAKIN touched are no longer his own ; & he finds himself not wanting them back . that clarity is clinical , surging , SOBERING enough that the burn of a hand over his heart becomes the burn of existing without it but you had given it to him years ago , hadn’t you ?
he didn’t need it , for all the mess it had made …
❝ Don’t i … i can’t . ❞ Can’t pull himself away from his Polaris ; due north forever until he runs into anakin , always anakin — again & again until he can no longer remember where he began . Can’t seem to find his way back from the event horizon that’s the same curve of Anakin’s cheek , where the point of his nose follows the arc . he’d follow it down , if he didn’t feel so DEEP already , pulsing in the leftover energy to move &move with Anakin . but where had it all come from ? how long had this need existed ? how far can he bury it again ?
❝ I can’t . I’m sorry . This cannot happen - not like this . ❞ again , once more , as if repetition could convince himself . BUT THERE , is the separation point , where heart & mind divide — when he breathes out to push himself backwards until the air starts to smell like the space between them & not the warmth of SKIN . it was a mistake , he thinks , a momentary lapse in judgement that brought you too close to the edge . but how many momentary lapses would he need in order to recognize that his affection had formed a pattern ?
❝ That was a result of confusion ; & it will not happen again . It was inappropriate & selfish . ❞ the words are withered , just like this argument inside himself .
I LOVE YOU is left unspoken, a plea or perhaps a hymn that echoes silently through the younger Jedi. He rides the aftershocks of the encounter in stricken silence, his orphaned love abandoned to lonesome decay; the tender &&flammable remains of a secret they were both apparently in on.
They split— && that’s the word for it; like skin or a carapace. Anakin’s arms feel all too empty now that he knows what it’s like to cradle his master in them. He leans his head back against the wall Obi-Wan had crowded him against && struggles to ease his breath. Reality splinters into countless disconnected fragments, liberating the shadow core of yearning his younger self had buried. He lifts his eyes to look out through the window and watches Coruscant’s twisting strands of light && darkness like the most fragile convergence of chances.
❝ Confusion?! ❞ That gets his attention— Anakin’s eyes burn like brands, leaving exit wounds in their wake. ❝ Youkissed me. ❞ Anger catches at him once more, desperation pulling his soul in all directions. He doesn’t know whether to cry or scream, to reach out in love or lethality. Now that the tension that’d been building between them has finally been acknowledged Anakin no longer knows how to tally his reactions. Double-edged desire && indignation slide him further into fevered, wrathful abandon.
❝ You kissed me && now you’re going to run away, just like you do with everything else. ❞ Anakin pushes himself off the wall, crowding closer to Obi-Wan && daring him to do what’s expected. ❝ I heard you talking to Satine, you know. About how you would’ve left the Order for her. Now I know you were lying. ❞ Anger continues to eat away at him, rooted deeply as an abscessed tooth. It’ll turn him rotten all too easily.
Love wakes the dragon, && only fire will follow. ❝ It’s all you have. ❞
Hello and welcome to my blog! Thank you for taking the time to read my rules, I'll try and make this as quick as possible.
I only roleplay with mutuals. All my opens are for mutuals unless otherwise stated. But if we're not mutuals you're welcome to ask me questions and send me memes. I'm absolutely oc-friendly. So long as you have a rules page and an about, we're good.
I'm happy to write one-liners, paras, novellas, crack, or pretty much any content so long as my writing partners discuss it with me before hand.
(I will tag anything in my writing or reblogs that I think may be triggering. If there's something that triggers you untagged on my blog just pop me an ask and I'll be sure to tag it for you.)
I'm multiship and ship-exclusive. Meaning I'll ship with multiple people but only with one version of each character.
*Padmé is an exception to this rule as her relationship with Anakin is canon and vital to his characterization.
I'm not exclusive. Not unless you ask and we've established a good writing dynamic. I'm not a big fan of auto-exclusivity and if you require this of your followers there's a good chance I'm not going to follow you.
I hope i don't actually have to say this but just in case: god-modding will not be tolerated. If we're writing a battle scene i'd rather just pre-determine the winner than get into an ic dick-battle.
I'm not going to send in passwords on rules. It's an anxiety thing. rest assured i will read your rules. don't worry.
If a blog is inactive for 2+ months without a hiatus notice I'm going to likely unfollow you. Again, this is an anxiety thing and cleaning out my following helps me feel a bit more organized. But if you become active on that blog again I will definitely follow you back.
The art used in my background can be found here and here . The gif used in my header can be found here.
Finally, my name is scout, I'm 20, a sophomore in college, and a loser. Replies and activity is going to be spotty on this blog because of that. If we're mutuals i encourage you asking for my discord, I'll send you memes.
verses
CANON.
AU.
PRIVATE.
TAKE THE LIGHT INSIDE YOU.
Freed from slavery on Tatooine and freshly initiated into the Jedi Order, Padawan Skywalker works tirelessly to prove himself to the meticulous Council and earn his Knighthood. But with age comes uncertainty, and the beginning of a series of terrible nightmares featuring his mother's death. Every day the bright, enthusiastic child Qui-Gon Jinn brought to the Temple grows more and more distant from himself and others.
WEAPON OF WAR.
The galaxy is at war but Anakin Skywalker is fighting more than just external battles. Suspended between his loyalty to the Order and his loyalty to his wife, Anakin struggles to find a guiding light in the increasing darkness. And now that the nightmares have returned with his wife as their new feature, Anakin has begun to grow more and more desperate for a method to save Padmé from what he believes to be her doom.
THE WORST PARTS OF HIMSELF.
Anakin Skywalker died with the Republic, and in their place rose the Empire and its right hand: Darth Vader. Who will stop at nothing to rid the galaxy of every lingering memory of the life he had before his fall.
WHAT A MESS I LEAVE
Redeemed in the eyes of the Force, Anakin Skywalker has been granted sentience beyond death, allowing him to reach out to his descendents and warn them against repeating his mistakes.
FILTH TEACHES FILTH. stranger things Before 008, before 011, there was subject 001. Anakin Skywalker, the first of an entire generation veined with strange, incomprehensible powers. Disappeared at sixteen after his mother's mysteriously unreported murder at the hands of a local gang. His escape preceded 11's only by a few years, && now he's back in Hawkins on the trail of Brenner's prodigy.
SPANDEX & STEEL. marvel/dc
Born and raised in Tatooine, New Mexico, Anakin didn't think himself any different from the rest of the lonely souls living in the desert. That is, until his mother was killed by local gang members, jumpstarting a series of strange murders that forced him to go on the run. He's a metahuman, a mutant; with strange powers he can't control and the blood of several seriel murderers on his hands. Sometimes he owns a small car shop just outside of town, and sometimes he doesn't have a home at all.
WHEN THE WAR WINS. modern
Anakin, a war vet secluded in a no-name town in the middle of New Mexico, works to overcome his ptsd by becoming a hermit && buying the house his mother died in. His progress has been shaky, for obvious reasons.
DON'T CALL THIS REDEMPTION alternate ending
Believing himself to have died after passing out at the end of ROTJ, Vader, or Anakin now, awakens to a post-war galaxy to discover the eternal peace he sought is still far out of reach. Now a prisoner of the New Republic, Vader works alongside the Rebellion in secret as they dismantle the last vestiges of the Empire.
A DIFFERENT KIND OF LEGACY.
A private verse tied into ahphra's Sith verse and shadcwpreacher's alternate background. In this verse, after being rebuffed by his son, Vader looks to train Doctor Chelli Aphra as his apprentice.
The dark is generous, and it is patient. It is the dark that seeds cruelty into justice, that drips contempt into compassion, that poisons love with grains of doubt. The dark can be patient, because the slightest drop of rain will cause those seeds to sprout. The rain will come, and the seeds will sprout, for the dark is the soil in which they grow, and it is the clouds above them, and it waits behind the star that gives them light. The dark’s patience is infinite. Eventually, even stars burn out.
AND WE ASK OURSELVES
Are monsters born, or made?
Let me tell you the story that's been scored into the stars. The family that turned the galaxy upside down. There was a man, with the weight of a prophecy lining his shoulders, and a thermonuclear furnace in his heart. He loved a woman, a proud, strong, kind woman who loved him equally, despite the anger, and the Darkness that grew in him. And the man watched her die every night in his dreams.
That man told himself if he can carry a prophecy, he can prevent a dream from becoming reality. Whatever it takes.
Whoever it takes.
SO WHAT HAPPENED
The man exchanged his loyalty for her life, and killed the people who raised him. He ended a war in one night, the fire of the gods burning behind him on a metal moutaintop.
The woman he loved was no fool, she could sight a fire started in her name. A queen knows when someone is bowing.
She meets him on a molten planet, begs him to stray from the Darkness. But there is a shadow in the place of the man she loved, a monster.
He takes her breath to silence her, doomed to paranoia on the arrival of his brother, who is too, in some ways, a shadow. Forced to kill the man meant to save them all.
So the man dies, and is reborn. Baptized by fire. The woman he loved dies too. And eventually, even the brother dies.
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